Sorry for any typos or anything that doesn't make sense. Started writing before I was fully awake, heh. A little more personal than I've been in this journal in a long time, but you'll get over it.

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#deviant365's task for today is to tell what May means to us. I've never actively participated in the tasks, but figured it'd be a good time to share what's been going on in my life and why May means what it does to me.

It's been a rough few months for my family, and for me.
My lovely aunt Deb fell and broke a bone not long ago, and not too long after going through some rigorous treatments for a while for a form of brain cancer that, while they tried, cannot be removed entirely. She's doing really well. Going through physical therapy and treatments and medicines and the hectic schedule of dealing with two young active teenage boys can be rough. This month, her therapy for her break is nearly complete and she's starting to feel better. Moving around, becoming more active. She's doing well, and we're excited for her.

Another wonderful aunt of mine, on a different side of the family, Vicki, has been hospitalized for the past six or seven weeks due to blood clots in her lungs, heart failure, and kidney failure. We spent much of March and April crossing our fingers while she was in an induced coma until they could get her stabilized. She's out of her coma now, and in an assisted living environment with everything but her kidneys going strong again. I'm extremely proud of her. Her husband, my uncle, is not in the greatest health either but showing strength I've not seen in a long time from anyone. At the end of May, we're holding a benefit garage sale to help them out since, as I'm sure some of you know, disability doesn't pay shit, bills don't stop because you're sick or hurting, and every little bit helps. They're going strong, and we're proud.

My mother, love her or hate her, has been struggling a lot and came quite close to an emotional breakdown. But recently discovered spring, alone time, walks in the park. Comfort in little things. And I know it's only a small thing, but I'm thrilled she's finding comfort somewhere because she's taken a beating lately mentally and emotionally. The change in weather has a lot to do with this.

My brother's family (he's married now and has a daughter in kindergarten) has been struggling hard and facing constant eviction threats. With job opportunities slipping out of their hands, cars breaking down at the worst possible moments, and nowhere to really go but their car if eviction does happen, things have been lookin' pretty shitty. Spent many mornings through April listening to them vent and talking them through things, trying to help them out. Got them caught up on bills, and just last week his wife started working at a job that will be plenty adequate to keep their heads above water.

My great grandmother, one of the strongest and most capable and most loving people I've ever known, and a 'damn good farmer's wife,' passed away last month at age 90. Her services were the weekend before last, and I'm proud of her and the life she led. A very full one. But any loss is hard. And we've come together for that in a wonderful way.

I spent much of April relearning how to live alone, after `Blue-Six left late March. I think anyone who knows me very well at all knows how bitter I am about the circumstances, but we'll leave details out here. He's still not a bad person, but some bridges aren't worth building a third time. Losing someone, and dealing with change, has never been easy for me. But I've come a long way in the past five or six weeks, and am perhaps better for it.

And, as a lot of you #dAmn people and others who pay attention know, I broke my leg on the 21st. I was celebrating with my brother and sister-in-law, because it was her birthday and she was just about to start working again, with me. A little too drunk, and a freak fall against a curb snapped my tibia pretty badly. Trying to walk again in drunken stubbornness, I broke my fibula as well. For a kid, that's pretty rough to deal with. But their bones are growing and they heal pretty smoothly. For an adult, especially one who works as often as I do and one who is so determined to be self-reliant, not being able to go to work and make money or even stay in my own home (upstairs apartment, woops!) and take care of my own cats (miss you, loves!) for upwards of three months is one hell of a rough blow. The pain is negligible compared to not being self-sufficient. But I'm already learning different ways to do things on my own, get around better, and find tasks to challenge myself so I can still feel a bit of accomplishment and progress. It's only been a week and a half or so, and I'd really really really love to be able to get back to work with my sister-in-law and everyone else, but it's going to be okay. Got my granny-walker, got my vitamins, and got a bonafied reason I cannot touch that malt liquor for a while. (Believe me, I was drinking waaaaay too much.) So it'll be for the best.

So, April was kind of a stressful month. But with the start of May, I really believe everything's looking better. May is the true start of spring for me. Flowers are starting to bloom, the sun is shining more, and we're all pushing forward. Spring is one of my favorite seasons (I like fall too!) because of the regrowth, the color, the brilliance the weather brings. This year, regrowth and blooming takes on a whole new meaning. And I welcome it wholeheartedly.

May means a better beginning and progress for my family and me.